RECRUITMENT 4 LOVE
matchmakers for busy professionals
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In 2010, Recruitment 4 Love Inc. was nominated for Best Matchmaker, Best Marketing Campaign, and Best Up and Coming Dating Site by the Internet Dating Conference and the Online Personals Watch.
As well, the IDC and OPW 2011 has selected Recruitment 4 Love Inc. as finalists for Best Matchmaker, Best Dating Site Design, Best Marketing Campaign, Best New Technology, Best Up and Coming Dating Site, and Most Innovative Company.
The iDate Awards – Internet Dating Industry Awards – are for the BEST in the online dating and matchmaking industry.
Vote for our very own, Caroline Canlas, for Best Young Entrepreneur in Canada!
The FuEL Awards celebrate the successes of young Canadian entrepreneurs, identify role models for progressive business management and inspire youth to make entrepreneurship their No. 1 career choice. Vote for our very own Caroline Canlas for Best Young Entrepreneur in Canada.
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DATING IS A NUMBERS GAME
We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to dating. It is so much easier to settle when we don’t know what all of our options are or when we think we are out of options. We’re at a point in our highly civilized world where there are so many different avenues to meet our special someone, yet the quality of the people we are meeting seems to suffer so tremendously. It’s because we have to do ALL of the work ourselves! We don’t take the necessary time to go through hundreds of facebook messages, emails, voice mails, texts, BBMs, dating profiles, etc. on a daily basis. It’s a wonder that we haven’t given up on dating all together. The theory about monogamy and Darwinian survival can be discussed until the cows come home, but the truth is that everyone wants a companion. And so it all comes down to dating the right way. How do you date the right way? A tip from the experts: Don’t feel obligated to give someone a second chance.
We’ve all done it once before (or a few times, let’s be honest). We’ve dated that guy/girl that was NOTHING like our ideal. Why are relationships kept in the fridge past their expiry date? Obligation is the culprit. Feeling hesitation or doubt indicates something is wrong. Why do we ignore that feeling instead of doing something about it? Did you know that it actually makes us more low-maintenance individuals to know exactly what it is we want? We only become flagged as high-maintenance when we are in the wrong relationship. We are nagging for this and complaining about that, trying to get what we knew was never there in the first place. We need to stop falling in love with someone’s potential.
If you’ve ever worked in sales, or been on the hunt for a new job, or have shopped around before a big purchase, you know about the Law of Averages. With dating, it’s the same thing. We need to go through a certain number of people before we find that one person we really connect with. With sales, the average is 1 in 10. With purchases, it’s 1 in 4. With dating, it tends to be 1 in 100. Let’s be honest, we do not have the patience nor time to put in the effort and go through all of these frogs before we find our prince/princess. Serendipity, shmerendipity. It takes work! It is frustrating to play the numbers game but if we keep in mind that practice makes perfect, then we are one step ahead. To ensure that we never just settle, we should be selective in choosing our mates and completely understand the difference between our wants and needs. If something about your date goes against your core belief system, do not pass GO and do not collect $200. As we move forward, we can take comfort in knowing that our next bad date is one date closer to perfection.
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What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
Excerpt from "The Hardline Self Help Handbook" by Paula Renaye
Have you ever wondered what a healthy relationship looks like? I certainly have!
On Oprah recently, Rob Lowe talked about his relationship with his wife Sheryl and how they are "besties" — best friends who love to spend time with each other. He read a passage about his wife from his new book, Things I Only Tell My Friends, and spoke of how he was still in love with her and attracted to her after 20 years of marriage. He talked of wanting to spend most of his time with her, and frankly, it was quite moving. They seem to have a great relationship and it was refreshing to see that side of a celebrity's life—normal and genuine.
But really, there are only two people who ever know what a relationship is truly like, and that's the two people in it. What we see from the sidelines can be quite inspiring—and that's great—but we can never know the whole story. We can only know their stories through our own lens, experiences and beliefs.
Can you think of a healthy relationship that would be a role model to you? What do people in that relationship do?
Here are some examples of what people have described when I've asked them those questions:
1. They are always smiling and laughing—they are having fun.
2. They worry about each other and that shows they care.
3. They are joined at the hip—they want to be with each other all the time.
4. They are always calling each other—they talk to each other 20 times a day or more. Obviously they really care about each other or they wouldn't want to be talking all the time.
5. They always ask each other before agreeing to do anything—even have lunch with a friend—and that is very considerate and honorable.
Well, if these five items were the template for a happy and healthy marriage then I had one! Actually, everyone thought I did. When we divorced, family, friends and clients (we had a business together) were shocked. To most people, we'd looked like the perfect couple with the perfect family, home, business and life. It looked like we really cared about each other—and we did—we were also behaving in the ways we'd seen our parents behave in a marriage, and it had nothing to do with love.
We all have our "public" faces and can put on a good show when we need to. So, yes, while item number one's laughing and smiling is good—and it could represent an authentically happy couple—without a peek behind the scenes, you have no idea what it's like to live in that relationship full time.
The second on the list is worry. Many of us have been led to believe that the level of worry we have for someone indicates how much we love them—and conversely, that if we love them we are supposed to worry about them. Worriers are also typically trained to be "fixers"—people who feel compelled to focus on another's problems and provide solutions or keep them out of trouble. To use some Southern-ese on you, it may seem just real sweet and thoughtful to fret and fiddle—but it's not.
In fact, some people would call it enabling. I think it's dis-abling because when we're doing the worrying and fixing for others, it deprives them of the opportunity to develop their own problem-solving, coping and thriving skills. We're not being loving and helping, we're actually retarding growth.
A healthier approach would be to express your sincere concern, offer appropriate help and then be supportive while you let your partner handle his or her business. We grow when we figure things out and take care of them ourselves. And, we appreciate those who are there with us, cheering us on and providing that solid rock of support while we empower ourselves. Yes, even partners, maybe especially partners.
That said, some relationships have a dynamic that may sound unhealthy to others but works great for them—they're happy—and that's fine. But if you're not happy, and you're doing all the things you thought were "right" and "should" make you happy, then you need to take a closer look.
Also, many people get into relationships to be "taken care of." We can want other people to take responsibility for our basic physical needs, financial needs, emotional needs or many other things, simply because that's what we believe equals love.
Even those of us who consciously say that's not what we want have subconscious wiring that says differently. We believe that if someone loved us they would… (fill in the blank), and we will spend our lives trying to make that particular thing happen—ask me how I know.
By now, you've probably figured out that the actions on the list can be unhealthy and codependent behaviors, depending on the context of the relationship. And the reasons we engage in them have nothing at all to do with love—it's all about fear.
We're afraid if we don't know where the person is every minute of the day, he or she will do something that will in some way cause us pain. Whether it's slip back into an old pattern or addictive behavior, run up the charge cards, find someone else and not want us anymore, or simply do something that would be hurtful or embarrassing to us if we knew about it, in those kinds of situations, wanting to be with the person and keep tabs on them is about fear, not love.
People who have the fears described above may also be afraid of being alone. There are many variations on that theme, but a lot of it has to do with the social programming many of us have been indoctrinated with—that there's something wrong with us if we don’t have a mate.
So while we're at it, let's get something straight, being alone is not a bad thing. And furthermore, if you're not in a relationship, you're not missing "your other half" and you do not need anyone else to "complete you." If you're harboring either of those notions, get over them right here and right now. To quote from Louise Hay's essential-reading classic, You Can Heal Your Life, you are "perfect, whole and complete" just as you are. In fact, the only way to have a healthy relationship with another person is to be a healthy individual on your own first.
So, what does a healthy relationship look like? Here are two simple questions that can help you answer that for yourself. Spend some time really thinking about these for your current or past relationships. These questions may seem simple, but answering them honestly can give you sound profound insights.
• Do you feel at ease, peaceful and happy when you are with your partner? Why or why not?
• Do you feel at ease, peaceful and happy when you're not? Why or why not?
Now, if you've done the work, you have some great insights into your relationship and yourself. You also probably have a better idea of what makes a healthy relationship for you—and what you need to do to have it.
So, get busy! As I ask repeatedly in The Hardline Self Help Handbook: What are you willing to do to get what you really want?
Figure it out now! Do what it takes to have what you really want and live your joy!
Paula Renaye is a certified professional life coach, motivational speaker and trainer, regression hypnosis practitioner, award-winning author and consultant. Her latest book, The Hardline Self Help Handbook, has been called "a tough-love Chicken Soup for the Soul with a do-it-yourself roadmap for getting unstuck." Visit http://www.hardlineselfhelp.comfor more practical tips on living healthy and happy in all areas of life. The book is also available at http://www.amazon.com
and on Kindle.
DATING SITES AND SERVICES DISAPPOINT GTA SINGLES
New Dating Service, Recruitment 4 Love Inc., Modernizes the Traditional Matchmaker
(TORONTO – SEPTEMBER 1) Today’s singles have limited options when it comes to finding love. Thanks to Recruitment 4 Love Inc., singles in the GTA can now say goodbye to clicking through hundreds of thousands of profiles on dating websites, to speeding through dates that are not chosen for any specific individual, and to old-fashioned, over-priced matchmaking services that lack sensitivity. Recruitment 4 Love Inc. (R4L INC), is a modern day matchmaking and dating company in Toronto that combines a progressive approach to matchmaking with traditional values, and personalized service at affordable prices. The company’s team of passionate and dedicated matchmakers’ pre-screens, pre-qualifies, and pro-actively recruits potential matches to take the headache out of the hunt for that someone special. RECRUITMENT 4 LOVE INC services are available to the public with a free trial run and no obligation to join. Full packages offer clients an annual membership with unlimited introductions and an up-front fee structure that won’t break the bank.
“Love is not always a click away and while people can certainly look through hundreds of profiles on thousands of websites, or speed date through many people, they need to know what they are looking for, or finding a match will be difficult, take more time, and lead to disappointment,” said Nadine Huckvale, Managing Director. “We have heard many singles in the city say how unsatisfied they are with current dating options; many can’t afford the huge price tags of traditional matchmakers, or find it too awkward to meet someone online. That’s why we created another option for singles where we do the hunting, recruiting, interviewing and coaching to find your perfect match. So far this approach has been a success and we’re helping people in Toronto to connect.”
According to RECRUITMENT 4 LOVE INC., the Law of Averages makes dating a numbers game and people can become disenchanted due to the work involved. Qualified matchmakers with backgrounds in psychology, behavioral biology, and relationship management take the guess work out of dating by getting to know each client, understanding their lifestyle, likes, and dislikes. The search for a potential match is thorough, expanding from many different avenues, including online and print ads, referrals, advertising in restaurant/fitness venues, social/networking events, and most importantly, by directly and personally recruiting quality singles across the GTA. The personalized process that Recruitment 4 Love Inc. offers is second-to-none and minimizes the likelihood of having a terrible first date, making dating fun again.
The basics of matchmaking are simple; it is a service that recruits matches based on the given preferences to save time for the consumer, yet many matchmakers tend to have outdated services that focus on quantity over quality. Typically, matchmakers that offer guarantees focus on meeting volume quotas rather than focusing on the quality of the match. Service-oriented matchmakers like RECRUITMENT 4 LOVE INC., who offer unlimited introductions, centre on the individual and always refine the search to reflect changing requirements.
“Our concept to dating services is unique in the market because there’s no fluff or hard sell, just the facts,” said Nadine. “We also don’t cap you with a guarantee of only a certain amount of dates. What’s unique about RECRUITMENT 4 LOVE INC. is that we’re bringing back the human, traditional side of dating.”
Thousands of singles are already discovering RECRUITMENT 4 LOVE INC.’s new approach to dating and finding love. The company is also getting industry notice and has been nominated for Best Matchmaker, Best Marketing Campaign, and Best Up and Coming Dating Site by the Internet Dating Conference and the Online Personals Watch. The 2010 iDate Awards – Internet Dating Industry Awards – are for the BEST in the online dating and matchmaking industry.
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